Tea

Today I wrapped my hands around a nice warm cup of tea. I drank it as if I was drinking in something much more meaningful. It was only a cup of tea. Right?

This morning I road with my mom into town. Things were out of place. The clouds were in the trees. The sky was empty, it was missing them. I can relate.

-J

A Some What Graceful Progression

Spinning may describe this feeling. The one where your so near to being ok, that your caught in a straining state. Straining for the brighter day add you saw in the news paper. How convenient would this picturesque life be? With out the struggle, perhaps without the spinning,spinning,spinning. What sort of contentment or joy might one find? Would there be any? Do all of these question marks make you uneasy, or is it just me?

Pick me up I've landed

Do you know Ben Folds speaks my language? Well he does. Something clicks. There is a song I wrote along with Jess about this(not ben folds sorry this is a random night). This part of my life. The one where things fall apart,people begin to wither, and places so familliar are now foreign. In my mind I made up that this would be my "journal" blog and the other my "poetry" blog. This is not poetry though, its a song. Why am I justifying what I put on my blog? I have isues.

Quietness it kills me
When my thoughts are wrapped around
A truth thats almost eary
A life thats slowin' down

Familliar face now withered

Shakey voices sound

Quick as sand it passes

You'll be sifted like the wheat

All in favore shout it

All apposed just weep

Littles done for nothing

Your fighting time

Your fighting me

Quiet still I'm empty

Filled my loungs with this breath I crave

Night is all that hides

From voices I have heard

And places that I love

Hide me here for awhile

Don't let this world see me

A distant whistle screaming out

When to stop

And where to stay

Now this scene is not so peacful

This feeling, less than craved

One more sip might drown me

This walk could slow me down

Heroic words won't heal me

perfects silence now

All in favor shout it

All apposed just weep

Little's dome for nothing

your fighting time

Your fighting me

-Jonnie

Curl up and sleep

Oh Bog! If that was a word it would express perfectly the way I feel today. It's beautiful outside and I love being outside. The small amount of sanity in me is found outside. Not today though and I hate that. Why did I fall into this bogness on such a lovely day?

You see I want to go home. You know the yellow and white house home, my home. Not this place I am living. Why am I pulled in so many different directions? I am sure I can't take it much longer. (interrupted by the cell phone) I feel the need to put on a happy voice for my family when they call. Why is this? I am not happy especially when I am talking them because it makes me miss Home and family. Would tears be appropriate right now. Well I don't think they care much about coming at the appropriate time. Do you?

This is about all I can pour out of my brain today. My apologies for the droning on of it all.
-Jonnie

all over again

There is a howling out side. The wind seems to be a bit tormented today. The dirrection is hardly sure and the speed is less than steady. Laced with an invitation to leave, a restlessness, an uneasyness in its existance. Be warned, it is rather contagious. I feel it seeping into my bones. There is a pull to be far away from here. Set your mind at ease I do not plan to fallow these chilled notians. No, I will be settling in soon enough.

Home. Heather is home.... There is something so comforting in those words. She is still very sick and the doctors are trying to figure out what it going on inside of her. Still just knowong that she is in a house thats yellow and white, and she is being consumed with familiarity.

My thoughts will hardly stay glued to this white screen, so for now here is the first post to my new blog. Hope you enjoy. The few who know the adress that is.

-Jonnie